Beautiful Sadness.

Christmas Eve morning, I turned on Spotify. I'd heard there was a new Taylor Swift Holiday station from someone, I don't remember who. So, I figured I'd give it a try. I listened to exactly one line of Taylor's cover of "Santa Baby" before I said aloud, "No!" and opted for Mary Chapin Carpenter Holiday …

An Open Letter To Myself.

Do you remember when we fell in love? The strike of the match, the smell of sulfur, the spark into flame, the flame into a blaze of energy, of creation, of possibility...of transformation?

The Reflex Is A Lonely Child.

Ah, to be reflective instead of reflexive. To be less affected and more effective. To be mindful that I have a limited amount of fucks to give, and to make sure that the fucks I do give are really, really good ones...

Facebook as Metaphor…

I've been sitting in meditation for at least 15 minutes a day for the past three weeks. That's not a lot of time, and I look forward to what happens down the road.It's been interesting what's come up during those short visits...taking the thoughts and feelings as simply what they are, and not treating them …

Thoughts on HIV and NC Harm Reduction Advocacy Day.

There was a sense of being "okay" that day in Raleigh. Underneath what the other advocates and I were doing, there permeated this notion that we were advocating on behalf of those who, for a myriad of reasons, were unable to travel and speak for themselves.

Awareness vs. Fixation

The difference between awareness and fixation is that fixation leads to regret, depression, anxiety, worry and dis-ease. Awareness leads to acceptance, planning, right action and compassion. Know when you’re aware of something, give it the amount of attention it requires and no more…anything more can and will often lead to fixation. Simple when you think …

Andy

Twice a week, I hang out with ex-convicts, recovering addicts, former prostitutes, homeless men and women, and the occasional drag queen. I lead two support groups at a center in Greensboro. Monday is a meditation and mindfulness group, open to HIV positive men and women. Thursday group is for HIV positive men. If I'm having a bad day, I go check in with these friends and get a sweet, gentle dose of "the real-real world". The real-real world is so much better, so much more immediate and so much more real than anything I'd ever see on Facebook, or on television. You can't make this shit up. It's too real for reality t.v., and it's more compassionate, gorgeous and messy.

Walking My Talk.

In The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement is Be Impeccable with Your Word. Words have power. They have magic in creating new ideas, setting goals, new standards, and showing ourselves and others how accountable we are. Words also have the power to wound, destroy confidence, and destroy trust and accountability. As …

Jumping Off.

After three weeks watching other boys and girls do it, I climbed the ladder, twelve feet above the blue water. 12 rungs for twelve apostles, and I mouthed the name of each in silent prayer until I reached the top. When both feet were on the white, sandpaper surface of the diving board, I whispered …

You were always on my MIND…a repost.

The MIND. Many thanks to fellow blogger and meditator (Just made up that word) Karen Wilson for posting this from the book "7 Illusions". A few paragraphs capturing what the mind is, what it does, how it functions, and how it so often does way too much and functions way outside of its "scope of …