My name is Kevin Varner.  This is where I curate my thoughts and experiences of living with the following outside the box labels: Gay, HIV positive, Bipolar, Spiritual-Buddhist-Human-Worst daily meditator in the world, Enneagram type 4 wing 5, and Meyers-Briggs INFJ.

I’ve got a grateful career as a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor at a non-profit counseling center in Raleigh, North Carolina.

For the record: Most of the time I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.

4 Replies to “About”

  1. Kevin,
    I came across your open letter to HIV while waiting for a connecting flight on my way home from a recent business trip to Seattle. The message was powerful and full of insight. The one dimension I have in my life that just didn’t seem to fit in your approach to making HIV a part of you for the better is that while I am a gay man living with HIV since 2010 I am in a mixed orientation marriage and am still living a closeted life although I am out to me wife and children as gay and +. How does one have that vest for life when you are falling short of living openly and pursuing all the things possible to achieve when you embrace every aspect of life, living and loving? I search for my personal freedom every day and never seem to find an answer. Before I came to Seattle on business I reached out to a guy slightly younger than me who lives in Seattle and in all honesty it was really for the purposes of a sexual release but as we chatted before my arrival we decided to meet and have a drink and talk. He was very interested in my life and it felt great to have someone to talk to. He was a few years younger than me. I am 55 he was 46. I have only cohabited with HIV for four years and him since he was 18. His insight helped a bit. We did eventually have a sexual encounter after our drink and I got very emotional afterwards and he was so caring. Something I don’t have in my life. I ramble. But my point is that your letter gave me a lot to think about and some hope. Thank you! Charles from NJ

    1. Thanks for the great article. I am a 53 year old man that was married with 2 kids. When I found out that I was hiv + I had no choice but to come out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell my wife. But I thank God that she is neg. I am a much happier person now and a much better father. I think that becoming pos was a blessing. Yours truly Stan Bright

  2. Hi Kevin! It might be a little awkward for you to post your story here at first, but you will be happy that did it in the end. Because there are lots of people like me are always supporting you,encouraging you helping you, i know this situation is very hard for you guys, but That is what we call LIFE! life is always unsatisfactory,at least you still alive, you can do anything you want, that’s enough, right?:) happy is the day after day, the tro le is, why not let oneself have. To be honest, I am so proud of you, have the courage and strength to free yourself, and you will feel yourself come alive like never before. So you need simply to take the next step. For many of you guys, though, that’s a big step. There are lots of findings for human resistance to HIV vaccine research and development has opened up bright prospects. Good luck! Kevin!

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